In Which I Agree to a Selective Reduction Consult in Case of Medical Risk [1]
Rational: any number that is either an integer "a" or is expressible
as the ratio of two integers, a/b. The numerator, "a", may be any whole
number, and the denominator, "b", may be any positive whole number
greater than zero. If the denominator happens to be unity, b = 1,
the ratio is an integer. If "b" is other than 1, a/b is a fraction.
—from Number Theory: Types of Math Numbers, compiled by William Tappe
Nicholas Galanin, What Have We Become? Vol. 1, 2004 (Artist Website, Instagram, Twitter)
Paper: 2,000 pages
In the case of multiples, another kind of math:
the volume of the chamber, the width of the cavity.
All my life, I have warned myself
to stay small. I parched my own throat
looking for the years I’d lost, I waited
as though mirages might open a floodgate,
overwhelm the aqueduct,
and the flood never came.
The flood is only a possibility.
I sign the form because of so much want
I can’t breathe with it. For too long,
I’ve lain empty. I kept the lamp
that night and every night burning
in the window of my nightly turn
waiting for blessing; I opened my palms again
begging inheritance. I ask my mother
to mother me anew, neither of us sure
how this part goes. What can one say?
Let this month bring me
as many gifts as allowed.
I sign the form, release the natal breath.
They fill the prescription.
Let it bring a flourishing I’m not asked to quell.
I pray for the flood again, prepare the boat.
I fill the boat with life vests. Would that I could rescue
any of us. Tell me, how much, how many?
My father is a twin. For you, I want that closeness,
a meteor shower in me, blossoming amphora,
a mirror and not a mirror, you and you and—
just think of all the love I can hold,
and all I can’t. But give me a forge
larger than what I’d allowed myself
to hope. I’d welcome any company at all;
permanent houseguests, a wealth of nuisance,
all my body can sustain. I hold myself
a fraction, already. We talk about rational numbers.
They ask me to let them save me
from my own desire.
[1] The Risk of Multiples form must be signed to proceed with treatment.