I am afraid of going my whole life without even once
holding that which I most desire. Tu me manques.
O Lord have mercy on me. I love your fig perfume
the most. This morning the morning was a linen kite torn
through its slender middle. I never wanted to harm you.
I am an injured ship. When I was a child I was absolved
of everything, soundly slept in an eden encased by dark
glass. In the dream I called your name because you had
forgiven me. And you were there with me, a testament
to sweetness, your hand outstretched to touch my face.
In the morning I’ll be stripped to nothing knowing
I’m still unforgiven. When I sleep I am a warm and blessed
capsule of unknowing. As a child I was a longing fool,
I pulled mint in a garden long blemished by smoke.
—Louie Leyson
Louie Leyson (X) is the recipient of a Literary Research and Creation Grant by the Canada Council for the Arts. Their work was awarded a CBC Literary Prize in Nonfiction and was selected as a semi-finalist for the Nimrod Literary Awards: Pablo Neruda Prize in Poetry. You can find their works in Catapult, The Malahat Review, Stonecoast Review, and elsewhere. Their twitter is @aswangpoem.